Modern Age

As you know, I turned three (uh)oh yesterday and I've got a floating three oh balloon at home to remind me. Anyway yesterday I had a lottery ticket to cash in. Unfortunately it wasn't a life changing amount, let's say it was enough to buy nine packets of wasabi peas from M&S. So I hand the man my ticket and he gives me a suspicious kind of look and says "How old are you?" whenever this happened in the past purchasing cigs or alcohol (unfortunately I don't win lottery money often), I would get annoyed, but yesterday my thirty year old face couldn't help but crack a smile "Actually I'm thirty today, it's my birthday!" I said feeling jolly "Oh happy birthday, you really don't look it you could be eighteen" he says. He knocked TWELVE years of my age people! As he hands me the tenner he says "Spend it wisely." I end up buying cigs and somehow feel guilty about it, as if I have just turned eighteen and it's the first thing I buy. Not wise.

Woman in the Mirror

I'm the so-called 'big three oh' today. Turning three oh and the week leading up to it, has been... Scary? Hmmn not sure if that's exactly the right word to describe it. Last night I felt a tad bit down, but mostly because it's that time of the month, so that combined with the transition of becoming officially an old woman made me a miserable old bag. As I was getting on with my subtle boohoo-ing last night, my boyf said to me "When you were a kid did you use to look at yourself crying in the mirror?" this comment converted my crying to laughter. I happened to be standing near a mirror, I looked at myself and realised how ridiculous I was being and how funny I looked.

Any Fun

♥ this song (and video) by Coconut Records which is Jason Scwartzman. The video (see below) features Chloe Sevigny and Mark Gonzales, it reminds me of the good old 90's. Haha.. The 90's, a decade when I tried to dress like Axl Rose (plaid shirts, denim shorts and doc martins) then Take That (plaid shirts, boot cut jeans, clothes from C&A) and then the Beastie Boys (plaid shirts, chinos, old school Adidas). Yes I was a bit of a tomboy attracted to skaterboys, ooh la la... Hmmmn Take That in between G'n'R and Beasties?! Bit of a glitch there. Doesn't quite fit in or make sense does it? Story of my life.


Film by William Strobeck and Mark Gonzales.

I met Mark Gonzales once. Where am I going with this? Oh yeah.. He held an art exhibition at a place I used to work at....

Megga America Communion Priests

...he customised something like 1000 plastic limited edition bubble blowing 'Megga America Communion Priests' (his trademark character) and etched the number and his signature on each one, all in just a few days (with a lil' help). Harmony Korine dropped by too.

Sock It To Me

These polka dot ruffle socks are le magnifique. Socks are underrated don't you think? We should flaunt them more. They're from Tabio, a Japanese sock shop. Japanese people are good at absolutely everything. They specialise in specialist shops and they do just that - make it special. It's their speciality. We have 'Sock Shop' (does it even exist still?), it's not very special, it's all about novelty Homer Simpson socks galore (yawn) and beige socks (ZZzzz).

Lovely Evening

I was in Sainsbury's. If you must know what I was buying it was organic milk and popcorn. So anyway I went to the cigarette kiosk and was next in line to be served, I looked over to see which assistant I would be interacting with.. Either the Long Haired Geezer or the Petite Asian Lady, the latter was rather chatty I noticed. Her customer walked away. Petite Asian Lady it is. I headed towards her and could hear her chatting away. To who? I wondered. The previous customer had already departed their point of contact and now I was positioned in front of her "..Lovely evening..Yes.. Lovely..... So how are you then lovely?" she says. As she was already talking before I even got to the counter, I was unsure whether she talking to me, or to her colleague. I guessed she was talking to me, so I replied "I'm good thank you!".

This is how the rest of the conversation went (bear in mind she was talking quite fast and was a bit jittery)....

Petite Asian Lady: "So what are you doing this evening?"
Me: "Oh nothing much, just going home and relaxing"
PAL: "So what are you doing? Will you be with the honeys?"
Me: Slightly confused "Um.. Yeah"
PAL: "Aah I knew it, so you'll be hanging out with the honeys?"
Me: ?
PAL: "So how many? Children?"
Me: ? "I don't have children"
PAL: "Lovely evening isn't it?"
Me: ? "Yes it is"
PAL: "So do you have twins?"
Me: ???! "I don't have children"
(Her colleague sniggers)
PAL: "Oh yeah you said that didn't you?"
Me: Smile politely and nod
PAL: "So that's £1.59.. It's a lovely evening"
Me: I give her £1.60 "It is lovely"

I take the change and receipt, say thanks and scurry off like a frightened mouse.
In the distance I can hear her "..Nice to meet you. Have a lovely evening, it is a lovely evening..."

This is a totally true story folks!